I'm a Nikonite!

No more Canon EOS 10D, I've upgraded to a Nikon D7000! My mom was so nice to me and bought me a refurbed body + a refurbed 70-300 lens, and a used (but in good condition) 50mm lens. It should be here by this Friday! :)

Goodnews!

It's been a few days since I've posted, so I thought I'd share the good news. Marshall and Lily, my two birds, are going to have 4 little babies! (Presuming all of the eggs hatch.) Yep!! I'm a grand-petmother to be!  Lily was acting very odd; she was staying in their little nest almost the whole day, so I checked on her. She flew out of the nest, and I looked in and saw 4 little eggs - this was on Tuesday, I think. It usually takes 2 weeks for the eggs to hatch - but who knows how long the eggs were there before I even noticed them. So now it's a waiting game for them to hatch. I'm excited, but sad because I cannot keep the little ones. I'm going to check out the place that I bought my birds, and see if they'd take in the babies.

Out of touch

I feel so out of touch with myself sometimes, and tonight just happens to be one of those nights. I've gone through so many changes over the years, that I've lost count of all of my 'identities.' Who will I be when I wake up tomorrow? The girl who only wants to die? The girl who's to scared to speak up, or the girl that just wants to have a little too much fun? This year, 2012, is completely different than all the other years. I started it off with shorter hair, and no intention of doing anything with my life. But here I am now: wanting to have this amazing career, to plan this extravagant wedding, to design my future home. I haven't been in a relationship since, well, 2010. And I don't even know if I consider that a real relationship - I don't know if I'd consider any of my "relationships" as relationships. So, I really don't know why I'm worrying about a wedding. But to me, I feel like I should marry young. I barely love myself, so in my head I've got to find that one person that loves me for me, and hold on to them as tight as I can. I don't know what brought these feelings on. Maybe it's because I'm sitting in a silent room, and I have nothing else better to do...I don't know. I just feel like I haven't been myself lately. Maybe it's because I've been of my medications, or maybe it's because I'm just going insane. I was really start to like myself, but now I feel like I'm in a downward spiral that's been going on for far too long.

Marshall

I have a very small breed of bird, he's a zebra finch - to be exact, and I think he might die. Since he's small, he doesn't have a lot of blood. His wing got caught in the cage when I was retrieving him and he fell/swooped down to the bottom of the cage. He started bleeding pretty badly for a bird, and now I'm worrying because I lost his brother in the beginning of July. I feel like this is all my fault. He can still fly, he flew right after he 'fell', so hopefully it wasn't too bad of blood loss. I googled what I should do and they said to soak/clot the blood manually with either some type of flour, granulated sugar, or something else. So I used sugar. I don't know if it worked or not, I'm letting him rest for the night. I hope he's still alive when I wake up. I love you Marshall, and I'm so so so so soooo sorry if this is all my fault. I feel terrible, baby boy. Please be okay. :(

Job hunting, Target, and my future

I've been on the hunt for a job ever since (well, even before) I graduated. Now that I have a car that I'll need to actually make payments on, makes everything more tense. I applied to a new Target that's opening soon, and they called me tonight. They wanted to know more about me..but they only asked three questions : 1.) why target/why do you need this job? 2.) what position do you want? 3.) when are you available? Now, to me, I feel like it should have been more than that. Could she tell I was nervous, by the way I was tripping over my own words? Did she stop the questions there because she already considered me unfit for Target? I don't know. I told her that I needed a job because: I just got a new car (true), I needed to have my first job, and I love Target (also true - it's my favorite store, and I told her that. I also told her that I had applied to a closer one before but was disappointed by how I never even got a call from them, not once.) I told her I'd work as cashier, or in the photo lab because I'm studying photography. When am I available? "ANYTIME!" I said. She said they'd contact me, thanked me for my time, and we hung up. Is this how normal job things go? 'Cause I'm new to this. Aside from all the job talk, I've been thinking about my future and what it holds. I've been designing my future home/apartment, and it's been driving me crazy. I just want to be able to live on my own, with a great career in photography. I want my own place already. But all of this leads back to getting a J-O-B.

It rained earlier, and...

I took some photos out of sheer boredom!

Catching up

I GOT MY FIRST CAR!!! WOOOOOO!!!
Well..my dad payed the down payment, and picked out the car. He's going to help with payments until I get a job & can pay him back, and start paying myself. Anyway....This is my baby, a Chevy Cobalt LT 2007. I was taking driving lessons, passed, & got a certificate of completion which acts as my temporary license. Now I'm waiting for my actual license/court date or whatever to come. I'm so excited. I love this car. It drives amazingly.
Edit: my license came in the mail today, now I can get on the insurance and drive alone!